There is Nothing Simple About a Simple Will

I hear this every day, “we just need a simple will”. Listen up folks this is not that Jeffersonian America where we all exist as simple farmers who gather after the harvest is in to debate how our democracy should function then vote before planting time.

That simple America is what we all want but we just do not have. Any one with a retirement account of any kind and children needs to talk to a lawyer about whether or how this yet to be taxed asset should be handled in some kind of an estate plan that recognizes the reality of what you are leaving your kids or your spouse whether you know it or not.

Often I learn there are preset designations in retirement plans made part of the fine print of an employment contract you never read that takes control of the disposition of your retirement at death no matter what your Will says. Sometimes you can change it. Sometimes you can’t. Probably better to know when.

But we don’t want to know. Nor do you want to know what happens with the time share in Hawaii can’t be moved by the probate court in the other 49 states to the people you name in the will and a second probate might need to be filed there.

You really don’t want to know when and when not to use a will substitute like Revocable Living Trust, if you believe  you “just need a simple will”.

When I use the term “myth”, I don’t mean something that is false or a lie. When I use the term “myth” it is in the same spirit as the Greeks. A myth is how we explain ourselves. It answers the “why” in “why are things the way they are?”.

We want to live that Jeffersonian myth of plain folk who do the work of living and loving until they die and leave the world a better place for their kin and friends than when they arrived. Diving into the reality of how a marriage changes things, a divorce really changes things, that child you never adopted but raised changes things from how you would want it to be, or how your hard work will be bled away by a tax scheme that seems to punish your industry, all tends to make a mess of the American Myth.

“Besides, lawyers are expensive and we can’t afford it”.  Yes you can. My fees are flat for estate planning to encourage problem solving before there is real cost. If you want to see expensive, try estate litigation which heats up when the will isn’t right. That is where I more or less make a living, cleaning up the messes left by those who sought to live that American myth that we are a simple people without complex problems.

Ok, that’s enough for now. I gotta go.

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Hooray for Hollywood!

This was my first blog post ever. pparently no one in Hollywood listened. Oscar winning actress Anjelica Huston was being interviewed by Terry Gross on NPR’s “Fresh Air” recently and referenced her mothers death as something she couldn’t handle emotionally well. Understandable, she was 17. angelica huston

But then she said she didn’t hang around for the reading of the will . Well Anjelica, you didn’t miss much. Best to skip law school too and keep your day job as an Oscar winner.

Here is what I said about this in 2011. At least I know Hollywood doesn’t care what I write here.

Apparently without any desire to find out how it really works, Hollywood has developed several legal conventions for us all to consume, and presume, exist outside the theater. Here are some events on screen and how they play out in real life.

1) The reading of the will. You know how it looks, it’s the same every time. A really expensive looking conference room, a bushy browed lawyer at one end of the table reads to the assembled family members, or in the case of Rainman just Tom Cruise. In a slow steady voice he parcels out the property of the decedant and the people react. “I definitely got the roses, right?”
rainman
I hate to bring you up to date on current events but this doesn’t happen. I polled the lawyers on the probate list serve here in Washington State and found only one man who has ever been asked to do this and declared he would never do it again. It is a prescription for drama as well as domestic violence.

I regularly encounter people in the days following a death in the family who expect the reading of the will is going to be scheduled sometime by my firm, and that people should make travel plans to be there. Often people lie about whether this event has taken place, to yank the chain of the sister they never liked. “Too late Char, the will has been read! HAHAHAHA!”

2) Captains of ships can marry people. No. Persons licensed by authorities in states or other countries to perform weddings can marry people. Perhaps that marriage you are in was performed by the captain of the Love Boat, but you probably ought to check what credentials on land he was given for the act before you set sail. Don’t worry, the children are legitimate in most jurisdictions.the love boat in wreckers yard

3) The right lawyer can win anything. I literally have a memory of sitting on my fathers knee watching Perry Mason as a child. Perry won everything. The music at the end of the show with the books stacked up on screen as the credits rolled by scared the hell out of me. But Perry Mason is not the way it is. perry mason

If you want a reality check, watch A Civil Action starring John Travolta as the “right lawyer”. Its based on a true story, and I don’t think they deviatated from how things really happen. Fighting for an elusive result most of us would recognize as “justice” John makes mistakes and goes broke. And that ladies and gentlemen is a harsh reality check, even for the right lawyer.
John Adams
Even John Adams.