This was my first blog post ever. pparently no one in Hollywood listened. Oscar winning actress Anjelica Huston was being interviewed by Terry Gross on NPR’s “Fresh Air” recently and referenced her mothers death as something she couldn’t handle emotionally well. Understandable, she was 17.
But then she said she didn’t hang around for the reading of the will . Well Anjelica, you didn’t miss much. Best to skip law school too and keep your day job as an Oscar winner.
Here is what I said about this in 2011. At least I know Hollywood doesn’t care what I write here.
Apparently without any desire to find out how it really works, Hollywood has developed several legal conventions for us all to consume, and presume, exist outside the theater. Here are some events on screen and how they play out in real life.
1) The reading of the will. You know how it looks, it’s the same every time. A really expensive looking conference room, a bushy browed lawyer at one end of the table reads to the assembled family members, or in the case of Rainman just Tom Cruise. In a slow steady voice he parcels out the property of the decedant and the people react. “I definitely got the roses, right?”
I hate to bring you up to date on current events but this doesn’t happen. I polled the lawyers on the probate list serve here in Washington State and found only one man who has ever been asked to do this and declared he would never do it again. It is a prescription for drama as well as domestic violence.
I regularly encounter people in the days following a death in the family who expect the reading of the will is going to be scheduled sometime by my firm, and that people should make travel plans to be there. Often people lie about whether this event has taken place, to yank the chain of the sister they never liked. “Too late Char, the will has been read! HAHAHAHA!”
2) Captains of ships can marry people. No. Persons licensed by authorities in states or other countries to perform weddings can marry people. Perhaps that marriage you are in was performed by the captain of the Love Boat, but you probably ought to check what credentials on land he was given for the act before you set sail. Don’t worry, the children are legitimate in most jurisdictions.
3) The right lawyer can win anything. I literally have a memory of sitting on my fathers knee watching Perry Mason as a child. Perry won everything. The music at the end of the show with the books stacked up on screen as the credits rolled by scared the hell out of me. But Perry Mason is not the way it is.
If you want a reality check, watch A Civil Action starring John Travolta as the “right lawyer”. Its based on a true story, and I don’t think they deviatated from how things really happen. Fighting for an elusive result most of us would recognize as “justice” John makes mistakes and goes broke. And that ladies and gentlemen is a harsh reality check, even for the right lawyer.
Even John Adams.