Lets say your parents die. Lets say they trusted you to “do the right thing” so they have made you the personal representative of the estate when they are both gone in order to distribute the estate “Subject to Probate”. Lets review what that means.
“Subject to Probate” means notifying creditors and paying the bills. It means making sure the funeral is paid for and the taxes have been addressed. It means making sure the people who are to get the money do get the money.
“Subject to Probate” does not mean a witch hunt. It is not a cry to “unleash the lawyers”. Your parents estate is not an opportunity to get back at your siblings. This is not your money, it belongs to the people or charities listed in the will, “subject to probate”.
During the probate the personal representative is not allowed to profit. If you are the personal representative you have what is called a fiduciary duty to the people named in the will. The metaphor is that the probate is not an arms length transaction, and certainly not a means to “get a good deal” particularly if it is at the expense of the others named in the will.
The appropriate metaphor instead is more closely related to family life, instead of held at arms length, you hold them close. If you find you cannot do this, resign. All will be better for that act of discretion.